The Guardian of Metal
"Metal, Noise, Blood, and Fire! Tell me what you most desire." :"Are you really gonna say that ''every time?"'' :"Yep." :Eddie Riggs and the Guardian discuss his traditional greeting. :''----------------------------------------------------------------------'' :Eddie Riggs "Wait, What do I have to do to get a fire tribute?" :Guardian of Metal "Please the fucking Gods of Metal, man! Figure it out!" :Eddie Riggs "Right, Okay, I'll be back soon, covered in Metal God love." :Guardian of Metal "Oh God!" The Guardian of Metal (voiced by and modeled after Ozzy Osbourne) is a supporting character in Brütal Legend. He is a "Keeper of Timeless Secrets" and serves as someone who can provide upgrades to Eddie's weapons (including The Separator and Clementine) and his Deuce, if Eddie has enough Fire Tributes. He lives inside the core of the planet which can only be accessed by the Motor Forge gates. The only way to enter is by using the Deuce, because it is made of Ormagöden's flesh. Guardian Quotes To Ozzy's credit, some of the funniest lines come out of The Guardian of Metal's mouth (perhaps, he has a Mouth of Metal?) Nonetheless, here's a list of his lines - in case you decide you want a little more metal in your life too. Note: This list is still incomplete. Add at your pleasure. ***WARNING! CERTAIN ITEMS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! OTHER ITEMS CONTAIN PROFANITY!*** Greetings *"Hey what've you been up to?" *"Have you pleased the Metal Gods?" *"The Guardian of Metal welcomes you." *"The Guardian of Metal welcomes you...again." *"You have interrupted the Guardian of Metal's nap." *"The Guardian of Metal is getting a little bit tired of all this. *GoM waits, Eddie waits, Guardian: "WHAT IS IT!? *(annoyed) "You're still alive..." *"You look fucking terrible." *"Every time you come back, there's another fucking scratch on that beautiful car." *The Guardian remains silent. Eddie Riggs responds by raising an eyebrow. The Guardian finally gives an impatient "What is it?!" *If you enter a Motor Forge for the first time and already have some Fire Tributes: Eddie: "I've already been given the gods' favour, so maybe we'll share some secrets now?" The Guardian of Metal: "Aren't you the cocky bastard?" *After you complete the game, the Guardian will only say the first 2 lines whenever you enter a Motor Forge. Farewells *Eddie: "Okay, see you later Guardian of Metal." #Guardian: "Yeah yeah." #Guardian: "Don't be a stranger." #Guardian: "Knock 'em dead." #Guardian: "ROCK AND ROOOLL!" #Guardian: "I want you to go fucking CRAZY out there! Do you hear?" #Guardian: "GO FUCKING CRAZY!" #Guardian: "Go fucking nuts!" *Eddie: "Wait, what do I have to do to get a fire tribute?" :Guardian: "Please the fucking Gods of Metal, man! Figure it out!" :Eddie: "Right, Okay, I'll be back soon, covered in Metal God love." :Guardian: "Oh God..." Mt Rockmore Effigies *''Category Highlight:'' "Care to make your mark on the world?" *''Category Selection:'' "Now these are a lot bigger than they look." *''Emperor Doviculus:'' "Watch out for that one." *''Eddie Riggs:'' "That looks like some guy I used to know." *''The Baron:'' "Ooo, tough guy." - "I guess he's okay." *''Guardian of Metal:'' "Oh, now who put this in there?" - "Well if you insist." *''General Lionwhyte:'' "Ugh, that guy." *''Lita Halford:'' "So serious..." - "I guess she's earned it." *''Mangus:'' "Smells better than the original..." - "Finally someone credited the Road Crew." *''Kill Master:'' "Now there's the real deal." - "About time someone built that." *''Lars Halford:'' "Ahhh, good man there." - "That otta inspire a few people.' *''Ophelia:'' "Hello, beautiful!" - "Hope that doesn't go to her head." *''Drowned Ophelia:'' "Oh the young ones and their makeup..." - "Are you obsessed with that girl?" Special Attacks *''Category Highlight:'' "How bout some fighting secrets?" *''Category Selection:'' "Got a couple of moves I could show you." *''Grabber:'' "Why not make them come to you?" - "Be careful what you're pullin'." *''Rock Kick:'' "Here's a kicky little number." - "Make sure you stretch first!" *''Shock Bomb:'' "Get a little more bang from your lightning." - "There's a powerful one." *''Fire Chord:'' "Ah, fire!" *''Power Slide:'' "This one's a little flash but it gets the job done." - "It doesn't hurt as bad once your knee caluses come in." *''Roman Candle:'' "It's like a pretty fountain that kills people." - "Have fun with it you sick bastard." Axe Treatments *''Category Highlight:'' "Maybe it's time you had your axe dipped." *''Category Selection:'' "Pain comes in many flavors." *''Blade of Ormagöden: "The way Ormagöden intended." - "Use well, the secrets of Metal." *''Steel-Quilled Blade: ''"VERY sharp." *''Eternal Fire: "Slash and burn!" - "The theraputic heat on your lower back is a nice bonus." *''Razor's Edge:'' "VERY sharp." - "I'm not kidding, it's really very sharp." *''Soul Sucking:'' "It's GOOD for you!" - "You two have fun together." *''Bloodlust:'' "The more you use it, the better it gets." - "Don't forget to feed it." *''Black Tear:'' "Watch out for this stuff..." - "Here's a warning, do not lick the blade." *''No Treatment:'' "Huh, where did ya say you found that?" *''Chain Lightning:'' "This one's a trouble maker." - "You might want to wear rubber gloves for that." Guitar Strings *''Category Highlight:'' "Keep the old girl in tune." *''Category Selection:'' "These strings come with a free paint job, I should mention." *''High Voltage:'' "Mmm, not sure that that thing's properly grounded." - "I wouldn't play that in the rain if I were you." *''Shredders:'' "It's like soloing with a whole backup band." - "Wait, that doesn't make any sense." *''Brawlers:'' "The best strings for combat." - "Well they're at least in the top two." *''Destroyers:'' "Actually, THESE are the best strings for combat." - "Now that's a guitar fit for the battle field." *''Original Strings:'' "Back to basics." *''Pyromaniacs:'' "They're hot, but you can handle it." - "At least I THINK you can." *''Super Shakers:'' "That'll REALLY get their attention." - "Just don't use them when I'm napping." *''Love Giver: (Jack Black off screen) "LOVE GIVER" (Guardian of Metal) "VERY Sexy!" Paint Jobs *''Category Highlight: "Style is important! There's no shame in looking good." *''Category Selection:'' "We can buff out the scratches while we're at it." *''The Valkyrie:'' "Majestic!" - "That's what the titans ride in, you know." *''Chrome Vengeance:'' "Shiny!" - "I don't like my reflection in there, am I really that fat?" *''Stock:'' "The way Ormagöden intended." *''Ace of Hades:'' "Oh I hate puns." - "Looks good though." *''Man Eater:'' "Frightening." - "It's not the beast I'm afraid of you know." *''Wagon of Bones:'' "That's grim." - "At least people'll be afraid to steal it." *''Laser Panther:'' "Raaaaowr!" - "It won't make your car shoot lasers though, probably should have told you that." Secondary Weapons *''Category Highlight:'' "Why have one weapon when you can have two?" *''Category Selection:'' "Just a little extra something deadly." *''Mine Dropper:'' "These really help with tailgaters." - "Use well, these secrets of Metal." *''Side Burners:'' "These blow out the prettiest blue flames." - "That'll help in a pinch, take it from me." *''Sub Woofer:'' "These speakers really pack a punch." - "You'll be the life of the party with those." Primary Weapons *''Category Highlight:'' "Something to keep you company on the road?" *''Category Selection:'' "Now HERE'S where things get interesting." *''Heat Seeker:'' "Very deadly." - "They can't run from you now." *''Machine Gun:'' "Not child safe!" - "Are you sure you can handle it?" *''Missile Launcher:'' "Someone could really do some damage with that!" - "And I guess that someone is you." *''Bolt Thrower:'' "Why don't you make someone else ride YOUR lightning for a change?" - "Give them a goose for me." Deuce Upgrades *''Category Highlight:'' "Something for your driving pleasure?" *''Category Selection:'' "Yes - take care of your car." *''Nitro: "Why not give your boost a little boost?" **''Double Nitro: "If one is good,two is better!" - "Just don't try to drink the stuff." **''Triple Nitro:'' "Oh no, three is just too much." *''Mouth of Metal:'' "Driving can be a little dull without music, don't you think?" *''Performance:'' ''"For the Warrior in a hurry" - '"That ought to help break a few speed records" **''Performance Overkill:'' "Sure you don't want just a little more?" - "Who're you trying to impress?" *''Armor '"Keeps the Elk out of your grill" **''A Touch Too Much Armor: "The maximum protection the law will allow." - "Huh, someone's a little paranoid." Locked *''Category selection:'' "You're not worthy...yet" Triva *The Guardian of Metal's robes is based off Black Sabbath's old stage costumes. *It is possible that The Guardian of Metal is trapped beneath the Motor Forge or otherwise not allowed to leave the core of the world Category:Characters